Wednesday, July 29, 2009
I feel sorry for my friend/s who didn't pass the exam and for the sisters of my friends.
Just let them feel and help them to move on with it. Maybe its not the right time for them, and we'll know, someday (on their next examination) they can pass it.
Sabi nga nila, swerte swerte lang yan. So let's just wait for our SWERTEs :)
I know, ma iisip niyo, para sakin madali lang sabihin toh coz' Im not a nursing student and Im not the one who failed to that exam. Pero wala tayong magagawa at kailabgan na i-accept talaga yung totoo. Read the rest of this entry >>
Monday, July 27, 2009
Boys over flowers
At first, I didnt like this asianovela because of its TITLE :))
And I heard that, it was like a meteor garden & Hana yori (not sure with this title) story that's why
Im not soo really intrested to watch it.
Then, I saw one of the characters -- Gu Jun Pyo, who really really looks like Jerry yan (Meteor Garden) and it totally pissed me off.
I dont know why. Maybe because, I hate it when someone's tryin' to copy somebody's look. I just simply hate COPYCATS :))
Until one day (summer vacation days) I am soo bored and I've heard some good news bout this asianovela, I've tried to watch it in mysoju.com
and yes, it was like a meteor garden story BUT they added and change some scenes/stories/twist that makes me curious more :)) I've watched it for a week.
Yes men, only a week for the whole story :)) And men! IM SOO INLOVE WiTH THE STORY. With the characters :))
So now, I've learned that "YOU MUST NOT REALLY REALLY JUDGE THE BOOK BY ITS COVER" :))
Read the rest of this entry >>
A lot of people are interested in cheats for Pet Society. Sorry to say though, that there are no true cheats for Playfish’s Pet Society. Nope, there is no “god mode,” no infinite happiness, no unlimited coins, and no key press combinations of any sort during the start screen. However, that’s not to say there aren’t any tricks you could learn.
In a game like Pet Society, being able to cheat would virtually destroy the entire point of the game, and if you’re intending to cheat, be aware that Playfish is taking measures against it. Nevertheless, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t look for ways to better your avatar from more experienced players in a more “legal” fashion.
A common question people have is how do I earn a lot of money? Somehow, there are players that have multiple rooms, the most expensive items, and still have plenty to spare. So how do the rich do it?
Yes, you can clean and play with your pet, and you can run your daily races and try to win, but this is a social game, and what better way to earn money in a social game than… well, be social. The number one way to earn some extra cash in Pet Society (aside from flat out buying it) is to have friends (lots, and lots, and lots of friends). Most of the rich veteran players have over 100 different friends in their society, and this equates to lots of time spent grooming, feeding, and bathing those pets for money.
Too mundane you say? Well, another option is to earn those “Paw Points” and level up to unlock those new features and items. If you’ve heeded the above advice and have a number of friends, pick one that you know you can trust and send them the most expensive item you have as a gift. Sending gifts earns you a hefty portion of Paw Points, and once they receive it, have them send it right back (next, rinse and repeat). Now you both earn a little something and don’t loose anything.
However, if you do intend to utilize this particular method, you should be aware that like any other game, Pet Society is not free of bugs. There have been user reports of occasionally losing items via this method so proceed at your own risk. With that said, there have also been reports of this method accidentally duplicating sent gifts. Sometimes you’ll get lucky, sometimes not.
Of course, this is only the tip of the iceberg as far as this game goes. With a constantly growing and active community, there are always more tricks to learn, and forums to join. If you want to learn more, or just meet some new players, definitely check out Pet Society Chatter. It’s a great source of tips, strategies, contests, and an overall friendly and active community. Read the rest of this entry >>
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
1. Have a strong commitment to making your relationship
Many couples start out with a strong commitment to their relationship
but, after a while, begin to give it less attention. They may neglect
each other while focusing on their work, children, or a time-consuming
hobby. In strong relationships both people may have outside interests,
but they continue to make their commitment to each other a top
Staying committed begins with accepting that having a good
relationship takes work. Problems can occur in any relationship, and
both people have to make compromises and adjustments. So it’s
important to accept some difficulties or “rough patches” as normal and
inevitable. Instead of trying to pretend that they don’t happen, make a
commitment to solving your problems together.
2. Think of yourselves as friends, not just as a couple.
Couples who stay together see themselves as good friends. They share
a variety of activities, enjoy each other’s company, provide support in
good times and bad, and they don’t take each other for granted.
3. Accept each other’s limitations.
Nobody is perfect, and long-lasting couples accept this and learn to
cherish each other despite their flaws. One of the biggest challenges
you may face as a couple is learning to live with many different kinds
of shortcomings. In the early stages of a relationship, both of you may
have to accept only small limitations. (One of you is messy and the
other is neat, or one of you always wants to try new restaurants while
the other would like to have a home-cooked meal every night.) Over
time, you may have to cope with larger disappointments -- for
example, that one of you has never achieved a big career dream or
earned as much money as you’d hoped. At every stage of your
relationship, it’s important for both of you to know that you’ll love and
cherish each other even if things don’t always work out as expected.
4. See yourselves as equal partners.
In successful relationships, two people may have very different roles,
but they see themselves as equal partners. They don’t regard one person’s views or interests as more important than the other’s. Each
person feels that he or she is making a vital contribution to the
One of the best ways to foster this kind of equality is to ask for the
other person’s opinion frequently and show that you value it. Try to
make joint decisions on big issues -- deciding how to save for
retirement or how to divide up the household responsibilities -- and
learn to find creative solutions or make compromises when you can’t
5. Pay attention to how you communicate.
More than two-thirds of the couples who seek counseling say that their
problems include poor communication. It’s vital to learn how to
communicate with your partner so that both of you are able to express
your needs and desires clearly. One study found that couples can stay
close by spending as little as twenty minutes a day simply talking to
The quality of your conversation also matters. Researchers have found
that couples who stay together are much more likely to give each
other praise, support, or encouragement than those who break up.
Many people in long lasting relationships make a point of saying “I love
you” every day. Others continually show their affection in small ways.
They may touch or hug frequently, give each other back rubs, or tuck
romantic notes into the other person’s lunch bag or briefcase. It
doesn’t really matter what you do, as long as you and your partner
show each other how much you care.
6. Develop a support system.
When they fall in love, many couples think they don’t need anybody
but each other. In the long run this usually turns out to be untrue.
Maintaining a good relationship is difficult enough that most couples
who stay together need a lot of support along the way. This may come from their friends or family. But it can also come from groups or
organizations that reflect their deepest values.
Some couples develop a support system naturally. They have large
and close families, or they’re naturally outgoing and make friends
easily. If you haven’t found a support system this way, you may be
able to develop one by making an extra effort to reach out to others.
Sometimes you can find support by getting involved in a community
group such as a parents’ organization, a religious organization, or an
athletic team. It’s also helpful to take the first step to reach out to
others -- for example, by organizing a block party or inviting a
coworker who’s new to town to have dinner with you and your family.
7. Handle disagreements constructively.
Even in the strongest relationships, it isn’t usually possible -- or
healthy – to try to avoid all disagreements. A desire to avoid conflict
can lead couples to ignore problems until they become too big to
handle. A healthy argument can help to clear the air and clarify
different points of view.
Since it’s impossible to avoid all arguments, it is important to deal
constructively with your differences. This means avoiding personal
attacks during arguments or discussions, which can destroy your trust
in each other or chip away at your feelings of being loved and valued.
No matter how upset you feel, try to focus on the issues involved in a
disagreement, not on who’s “right” or “wrong.” If you’re unhappy that
your spouse doesn’t pay the bills on time, don’t accuse him or her of
being lazy or neglectful. Instead you might say, “I’m concerned about
how late we’re paying our bills. This could affect our ability to buy a
house someday.” Or, “I’ve noticed that we’ve had a lot of late charges
on our bills. Do we need to work out a better system for making sure
these get paid on time?”
8. Make sure each of you has some privacy and independence.
In the early stages of a romance couples may want to do almost
everything together. But over time, most couples realize that each
person needs room to grow and develop, not just as part of a couple,
but as an individual.
In practical terms, this means that each member of the couple needs
time alone or with friends away from the other. Allowing each other
some independence is a way of giving your relationship room to
“breathe” and showing that you respect another’s unique needs and
9. Share rituals and traditions.
Almost every successful relationship involves some cherished rituals
and traditions that help to bind a couple together. Some couples share
daily rituals, such as eating dinner together or talking before bedtime,
even if one person is traveling and the conversation takes place by
phone. Others enjoy weekly rituals such as going to religious services
or to a favorite restaurant every Friday night. Still others have annual
traditions such as holding a Fourth of July barbecue or attending a
special holiday concert.
These activities help couples to define their values and can become a
kind of emotional glue that holds them together. The specific rituals
you choose aren’t as important as whether yours have a meaning and
importance for you and your partner. You might want to adapt the
favorite traditions of both of your families, create some new ones, or
use a combination of both.
10. Have fun.
No matter how hard they work, couples who stay together usually
make time for fun. Some set aside one night a week for a “date” with
each other even if you just go out for pizza or for a moonlit walk. What
you do isn’t important, what’s important is that you spend time
together having fun.
In order to keep having fun as a couple, you’ll need to keep re-
evaluating your definition of “fun.” If you aren’t enjoying your life
together as much as you used to, you may want to take up a new
interest or activity that the two of you can share, such as a hobby, a
sport, or a volunteer project. You don’t have to have the same
interests, but try to find at least one thing that you can enjoy
Most strong relationships include at least some of the 10
characteristics listed above. You and your partner can make building a
strong relationship a priority by working these tips and characteristics
into your everyday lives.
Read the rest of this entry >>
TAREGNA, India – The longest of the 21st century pitched a swath of Asia into near-darkness after dawn, as millions watched the once-in-a-lifetime phenomenon Wednesday. A woman was killed in a stampede at the , where devout Hindus had gathered for the eclipse.
Millions of others, gripped by fear, shuttered themselves indoors. India abounds in superstitions and fables based on Hindu mythology, one of which says an eclipse is caused when a dragon-demon swallows the sun, while another myth is that sun rays during an eclipse can harm unborn children.
Thick cloud cover over India and China obscured the sun when the eclipse began at dawn. But the clouds parted in several Indian cities minutes before the total eclipse took place at 6:24 a.m. (0054 GMT; 8:54 p.m. EDT) before moving to Nepal, Myanmar, Bangladesh, Bhutan and China.
The eclipse — caused when the moon moves directly between the sun and the earth, covering it completely to cast a shadow on earth — lasted almost 4 minutes in India. In some parts of Asia it lasted as long as 6 minutes and 39 seconds.
In Beijing, a thick blanket of grayish smog blotted out the sky and virtually obscured all high-rises in the downtown area of the Chinese capital.
In coastal Shanghai, eclipse watchers were disappointed by a light drizzle in the morning. Dozens of people had gathered at one hotel rooftop with telescopes and special glasses.
But as the sky darkened fully for about five minutes, watchers became excited again.
Holding a big green umbrella and wearing special glasses, Song Chun Yun was prepared to celebrate the occasion in a new white dress.
"Although the rain came, I don't want to screw up the mood. I want to enjoy the special day," she said before dancing and singing in the rain with her two sisters. "I don't want to wait until the next 300 years to see this again."
In Bangladesh too, people came out in droves.
"It's a rare moment, I never thought I would see this in my life," said Abdullah Sayeed, a college student who traveled to Panchagarh town from the capital Dhaka to view it.
He said cars in the town needed to use headlights as "night darkness has fallen suddenly." People hugged each other and some blew whistles when the eclipse began, he said.
One of the best views, shown live on several television channels, appeared to be in the Indian town of , on the banks of the Ganges river, sacred to devout Hindus.
Thousands of Hindus took a dip in keeping with the ancient belief that bathing in the river at Varanasi, especially on special occasions, cleanses one's sins. The eclipse was seen there for 3 minutes and 48 seconds.
But the gathering was marred by tragedy when a 65-year-old woman was killed and six people injured in a stampede at one of the river's banks where about 2,500 people had gathered, said police spokesman Surendra Srivastava.
He said it is not clear how the stampede started.
The eclipse — visible only in Asia — is the longest such eclipse since July 11, 1991, when a total eclipse lasting 6 minutes, 53 seconds was visible from Hawaii to South America. There will not be a longer eclipse than Wednesday's until 2132.
A 10-member team of scientists from the premier Indian Institute of Astrophysics in Bangalore and the Indian air force filmed the eclipse from an aircraft.
Scientists had said the Indian village of Taregna would have the clearest view, where thousands of scientists, nature enthusiasts and students gathered a day in advance.
But thick clouds and overnight rains provided no spectacle, just a cloudy darkness.
"It was still a unique experience with morning turning into night for more than three minutes," said Amitabh Pande, a scientist with India's Science Popularization Association of Communicators and Educators, in Taregna.
Still, the rain was welcomed by many in this agricultural area which has seen scant rainfall this monsoon season.
"It would have been nice to see the solar eclipse but the rain is far more important for us," said Ram Naresh Yadav, a farmer.
Millions across India shunned the sight and stayed indoors.
Even in regions where the eclipse was not visible, pregnant women were advised to stay behind curtains over a belief that the sun's invisible rays would harm the fetus and the baby would be born with disfigurations, birthmarks or a congenital defect.
"My mother and aunts have called and told me stay in a darkened room with the curtains closed, lie in bed and chant prayers," said Krati Jain, 24, who is expecting her first child, said in New Delhi.
In the northern Indian state of Punjab, authorities ordered schools to begin an hour late to prevent children from venturing out and gazing at the sun.
Others saw a business opportunity: one travel agency in India scheduled a charter flight to watch the eclipse by air, with seats facing the sun selling at a premium.
At a Buddhist temple in the Thai capital Bangkok, dozens of monks led a mass prayer at a Buddhist temple to ward off what they said would be ill effects of a solar eclipse.
"The eclipse is bad omen for the country," said Pinyo Pongjaroen, a prominent astrologer. "We are praying to boost the fortune of the country."--
I didn't saw it. But Im glad na rin na merong picture.
Read the rest of this entry >>
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Here's the link:
This is preety creepy :| Read the rest of this entry >>
Im a big fan of transformers and this one make me laugh for real =))
Friday, July 17, 2009
VATICAN CITY - The Vatican lauded the latest Harry Potter film on Monday, saying "Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince" made the age-old debate over good vs. evil crystal clear.
The Vatican newspaper L'Osservatore Romano even gave two thumbs up to the film's treatment of adolescent love, saying it achieved the "correct balance" and made the stars more credible to the general audience.
The newspaper said the film, which opens Wednesday, was the best adaptation yet of the J.K. Rowling series about the adventures of the bespectacled child wizard Harry Potter and his Hogwarts chums as they battle Harry's nemesis, the evil sorcerer Voldemort.
While criticizing Rowling for omitting any explicit "reference to the transcendent" in her books, L'Osservatore said the latest installment nevertheless makes clear that good should overcome evil "and that sometimes this requires costs and sacrifice."
"In addition, the spastic search for immortality epitomized by Voldemort is stigmatized," the review said.
The Vatican's praise follows the sharp criticism of the Harry Potter series by a conservative Austrian priest at the center of a church crisis earlier this year.
The Rev. Gerhard Maria Wagner had characterized Harry Potter novels as Satanism, while also suggesting Hurricane Katrina, which ravaged New Orleans and surrounding areas, was provoked by sin.
Pope Benedict XVI promoted Wager to the post of auxiliary bishop in Linz, Austria's third largest city, in January. But amid an outcry among Austrian Catholics over his comments, Wagner eventually gave up the promotion.
credits to: Yahoo.Com
Okay, I dont belong to HP fans, mkkaay?
FreeAdvertising! Read the rest of this entry >>
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Every experience of your loved one creates a memory. Love becomes a
bundle of feelings, created by the collection of memories of your loved one
Marriages fail because people don't know what their bundle of love is and
how to protect it. Marriages become happy when couples understand what
love is and how to add to their bundle.
Is physical attraction love?
Love at first sight is simply attraction. Attraction can make your knees weak.
It can make you speechless. It can hit you over the head like a baseball bat
It can be magical. But, you don't really need it to make a marriage last.
Infatuation, is that Love?
Common definitions, such as "puppy love," or "having a crush," don't help
us, because they don't recognize the power of infatuation to make you crazy.
A better definition is: temporary insanity that makes a peson deaf, blind,
and dumb. It's a form of madness, even though it feels wonderful and is an
amazing feeling. You see no faults. It feels like love, but it isn't.
Infatuation turbo-charges your experiences with your lover so that an
ordinary moment becomes an extraordinary memory.
Sadly, infatuation always goes away, and all of a sudden your loved one is
simply a normal human being. To have a happy marriage, you need to know
the real truth about infatuation.
Isn't there romantic love?
Ah, Romance. Moonlight and roses. Dancing in the dark. The thrill of the
kiss. "Our song." Holding hands at midnight. An old fashioned love song.
Romance isn't love, but it creates those magical memories of shared
experience that become part of your collection of memories that is true love.
Guys will dance with you, bring flowers, call you just because they're
thinking of you, and do tons more romantic things while you're dating. After
the honeymoon, those things tend to fade away. That's normal. That's the
way most marriages are.
Few marriages have much romance left after the honeymoon. If you want to
make the marriage last, you can agree to carry some of the romance into
and throughout your marriage.
Love is collection of memories
Every experience you have of your loved one creates a memory. Hopefully
most of them are positive memories. Every memory comes attached to the
feeling you felt when you had that experience. That what love is.
I use the term 'collection' when I'm talking about memories, because each
memory is a discreet item you can recall one at a time.
Each memory comes with a feeling, some with good feelings, some not so
good. The sum total of all the good and bad feelings connected to your
partner becomes your "bundle" of love.
I call the bundle of feelings a 'bundle' because the feelings get all mixed up
together and become one big bundle of feelings, even though the memories
can be recalled one at a time. The feelings are not as discreet as the
memories. That is, they become all mixed together. One big bundle — that's
what love is.
The collection of memories produces your bundle of love
I apologize for these unromantic words, 'collection,' and 'bundle.' I wish there
were better words to use to tell you what love is.
It's important to understand that the love you feel for your partner is a giant
glob of feelings, some good and some not so good. All of the feelings were
created by the experiences of, about, and with your partner.
If Harold imagines how wonderful it would be to hold Agnes tight and kiss
her, he is creating an experience of Agnes. It will create a memory, and it
produces a positive loving feeling. It adds to his bundle.
If agnes talks about Harold to her best friend and tells her how wonderful he
is, she is having an experience about Harold. She is creating a memory that
produces a positive feeling. It adds to her bundle
When Harold and Agnes kiss in a romantic place, it creates memories of a
positive experience with each other. The memory creates a positive feeling.
They are both adding to their bundles.
What's the proof that love is a collection of memories?
You only need to visit a nursing home to see examples of people who have
lost access to their memories. Alzheimer's, dementia, and other things that
cause memory loss show us that when a woman cannot recognize a man as
her husband, she feels no love for him. Her bundle of love has disappeared
because she has no memory of her husband, good or bad. Mothers or
Fathers can't recognize and remember their children.
You can only feel love if you can recall the memories of, about, and with the
person, pet, or place.
In Summary, here's what love is
Love is a bundle of feelings attached to a collection of memories of
experiences of, about, and with your partner.
Attraction, infatuation, and romance all play a role in super-charging the
experiences, so the memories and feelings are so much stronger, but they
are not love.
Physical attraction can be so powerful it takes your breath away. It can make your
knees weak. You may not be able to speak, or even think. Learn what's magical
about it, and how it can hurt you.
"Love at first sight" isn't really love. It's attraction. It's important to know the
difference between attraction and love. People who don't understand the difference
can find themselves running off to elope with a stranger — because of attraction —
Attraction is a physical response — you feel it!
You look at someone, or hear his or her voice, and the physical attraction is
immediate. In one case it can be mild. In another, it can be strong, and in yet
another it can be intense.
Somehow (and nobody knows quite how), we’re each “imprinted” at an early age —
possibly as young as three or as old as eight or nine — with the imprint that will
determine the person you will find attractive later in life.
You seem to have a mental picture of the person who is just “right” for you. Not
only is there a picture, but also there is an imprint for the “right”voice: the sound,
the tone, and the pace. You’re imprinted not only with picture and sound, but odor,
taste, and feel.
You're always on the lookout for people who match your attraction imprinting.
Before and even after you're married:
You — without even realizing it — automatically scan each person (of the right sex
for you), and you feel physical attraction when you see, hear, or meet (or smell,
touch, or taste) someone who matches some of the features for which you are
imprinted.The closer that person comes to matching your imprint, the more intense
the feeling. A complete match is not necessary for attraction. Just one or two key
variables may be enough to give you the feeling of being attracted.
Good and bad news about attraction
Attraction is probably a genetic "leftover" from the time before humans learned to
speak. It's purpose was to start the process of getting two pre-verbal cave dwellers
to become a couple and raise children. Because the whole attraction process is buried deeply into our brains, it's pretty
automatic, so we don't have much control over it. It happens whether we like it or
That means that you might be happily married, in love with your partner, and
BOING!, the bells go off when you meet someone who closely matches your
The good news is that attraction is a wonderful, delightful, and exciting experience.
The bad news is that some people confuse attraction with love and think they should
act on the feeling of attraction.
You can't make a marriage last if either party confuses attraction with love and
wants to start a new relationship with the latest person to "ring their bell."
If you're married, and you feel attraction for another person, enjoy the feeling, but
do not act on the feeling. Some people feel guilty. They think they may not love
their partner if they feel attracted to someone else.
Don't feel guilty. And, don't make your partner feel guilty if your partner feels a
powerful attraction for another person. It's human. It's automatic. You can't help it.
But, you can understand it, and choose not to do anything about it.
Attraction isn't love; it's simply physical attraction
Physical attraction can be so powerful that it feels like love — but it isn't. We now
know that love is the bundle of feelings that come from memories of positive shared
You can't be in love with this stranger you've just met, who "rings your bell." You
have no shared positive experiences. You have no memories with feelings attached.
You have no bundle of love on which to base a marriage.
Do not make the disasterous mistake of running off to be with this stranger based
solely on the primeval physical attraction your imprinting causes you to feel. Do
Teenagers should be taught about attraction so they understand the physical
attraction they feel the first time somebody matches their imprinting.
Some of the variables in physical attraction
Here are some of the physical attraction variables that are important to different
people. A few of these may be critical variables to you, but each is critical to
• Hair: length, type (curly, straight, long, short), color, texture
• Facial features: shape, width, length
• Skin color: texture and feel
• Body shape: sexual features, legs, neck, lip tension, taste
• Feel of the skin and flesh: hardness, softness
• Voice tone: timbre, pace, softness, hardness, high or low
• Sense of humor: laugh, giggle
• Smell: skin, hair, breath
• Gestures: head, hands, and arm movements
• Posture: carriage, roundness, straightness
• Tension level of the body: relaxed, tense
• Height: tall, short, medium
• Weight: light, heavy
• Energy level: calm, intense, easy-going, hard driving
• Gait: walking, running
• Confidence level: cocky, shy, confident
Love vs Infatuation
It's easy for others to tell whether you are in love or just infatuated. But, it
can be hard for you to tell the difference.
You can't tell the difference because when you're "crazy in love." You've lost
your senses. You've lost your mind. Infatuation is a delightful form of
madness. It's like a short term mental illness, where you lose your ability to
Here's how to tell the difference
Love is real, and if you take good care of it, it will last a lifetime. And love
Infatuation is unreal. The madness of infatuation creates many unrealities.
You perceive your love object as vastly more wonderful than is real. You
perceive your feeling of infatuation as though it will last forever.
Once infatuation peaks, it starts disappearing until it's gone. It always goes
After infatuation goes away, reality comes back to you. You see that your
love object has faults, flaws, and the normal number of human quirks. You
can't see that when you're infatuated.
After infatuation disappears and reality returns, any bonds you formed with
your partner during your madness will stay with you forever. It's those
bonds, the memories and the feelings that make up your bundle of love that might lead to marriage and a committed relationship.
So, love is real, and it lasts.
Infatuation is magical, mystical, very unreal, and it always goes away.
Is it Love or Infatuation?
It's hard to tell the difference between love and infatuation, because they are
so intertwined. I'll do my best to unscramble them for you.
Love is a collection of memories of
shared experiences of, about, and with
your partner. The memories come with
feelings attached, which come together in
a giant bundle of feelings of love.
Infatuation is a hormonal state that turbo
charges those shared experiences.
Example: Agnes and Harold are enjoying
mutual infatuation. They go to dinner. You
and I might think that everything about
the experience was ordinary, yet to them
everything about the experience creates a
The food was the best they ever tasted.
The music was incredibly good. In fact,
one song became "Our Song." They
danced. It was heavenly holding each
other in their arms. They'll never forget
what they whispered into each other's
Okay, you got the idea. A shared positive
experience creates memories with
attached feelings. This is true of experiences Agnes and Harold shared
before they came down with infatuation,
and it will be true throughout their
The hormonal, unreal state of infatuation turbo-charges those shared
positive memories, and allows them to create huge, fantastic, powerful
memories, with wonderfully strong feelings attached.
Because of the infatuation, the bundle of love that they will carry into their
marriage will be much larger than it would have been if neither had come
down with infatuation.
"Is it love or is it infatuation?" isn't exactly the right question
This question suggests that they are opposed. They aren't. They are vastly
different. One goes, the other stays. One is real, the other is unreal. But while under the influence of infatuation, normal every day experiences
take on an intensity that creates very strong positive feelings that will last,
even when the infatuation disappears.
It isn't "love vs infatuation;" they work together. Infatuation super-charges
everyday experiences to create the strong memories and feelings that
become real love.
The Dangers of Infatuation
If you don't know the difference between love and infatuation, you could
conclude that your loving feelings went away when the infatuation
disappeared. Brides have mistakenly canceled weddings, thinking their love
was gone, when the infatuation left.
If you think infatuation is love, you can do crazy things under its influence.
You might just be tempted to run off to a desert island with your new
For many people, strong attraction can lead almost immediately into
infatuation, and then all thinking and reality testing goes out the window.
All the things that were important in your life before, are no longer
important. School, work, family, hobbies, plans and ambitions all seem so
unimportant now that you're infatuated with your new attractive stranger.
Remember! Infatuation is madness. You can't think straight, so don't do
anything you'll regret when infatuation leaves you and reason returns.
Wait until your feet are back on the ground, you've got your senses back an
you can make reasoned, rational decisions. You've got time. If there is real
love under all the hormones, your bundle will be there when your madness
Definition of Infatuation
We need a new definition of infatuation, because the common definitions
don't help us. I'll show you what I mean.
One dictionary's definition of infatuation: "Be inspired by an intense, but
short lived, passion or admiration for." That's only a tiny part of the story.
Wikipedia's definition of infatuation is much more complete, but they don't
define infatuation, they instead, refer to it as "Limerance" a word first coined
by Dorothy Tennov a professor of psychology.
Here's an excerpt of Wikipedia's "Limerance"
"Limerence is a state of mind characterized by intrusive thinking, longing,
uncertainty, hope, misperception, fantasies, and passion.
Limerence has been described as 'having a crush,' 'infatuation,' 'passionate
love,' 'puppy love,' 'romantic love,' or 'being in love.'
It is important to note that limerence is neither love nor sexual attraction.
Love, sexual attraction, and limerence can all exist without each other or
any or all of them can coexist together."
Additionally, Tennov lists certain basic components that expand the definition
Limerence has certain basic components
--intrusive thinking about the limerent object
--acute longing for reciprocation
some fleeting and transient relief from unrequited limerence through
vivid imagining of action by the limerent object that means
--fear of rejection and unsettling shyness in the limerent object's
--intensification through adversity
--acute sensitivity to any act, thought, or condition that can be
interpreted favorably, and an extraordinary ability to devise or invent
"reasonable" explanations for why neutral actions are a sign of hidden
passion in the limerent object
--an aching in the chest when uncertainty is strong
--buoyancy (a feeling of walking on air) when reciprocation seems
--a general intensity of feeling that leaves other concerns in the
--a remarkable ability to emphasize what is truly admirable in the
limerent object and to avoid dwelling on the negative or render it into
another positive attribute.
consider this list to be a wonderfully accurate listing of the characteristics
of infatuation. They are all present when a person experiences infatuation.
My Definition of Infatuation: Temporary Insanity
I define infatuation as "Temporary insanity that makes a person deaf, blind,
Infatuation is a form of madness. (It is also the about the most wonderful,
amazing, incredibly good feeling we can have.)
Infatuation feels like love, looks like love, and is very commonly mistaken
for love — but infatuation isn't love. We know it can't be love, because it
always fades away and doesn’t come back — with the same person. Whereas
love will stay after infatuation disappears.
Infatuation feels so good that some people even become serial infatuators,
jumping from partner to partner, always seeking the high that infatuation
brings. Infatuation can be addictive.
Infatuation makes even insignificant things seem
My definition of infatuation includes it's role as an intensifier of feelings.
Infatuation does powerful, magical things. Infatuation 'magnifies' the
intensity of feelings you get from shared experiences with your partner. Real
love is the sum of the positive bonds you build up from shared positive
experiences with your partner. The size of the good feeling is intensified, or
'magnified' by the madness of infatuation.
Infatuation blinds you to your partner's human-ness
My definition of infatuation includes the
insanity it produces: Infatuation is a form
of madness because you lose touch with
Eventually, you're going to realize that
your partner isn't the most perfect,
beautiful or handsome, and loving person
in the whole world.
You'll see that your partner is really just a
person with the normal number of flaws
While you're infatuated, however, you're
'blind' to your partner's faults,
weaknesses, and failings. It seems your
partner is perfect in so many ways.
Infatuation makes you 'dumb' and 'deaf,' too
Infatuation makes you 'dumb' because you lose touch with things that are
really important to you in your life, like your education, your parents and
family, your friends, your career, your goals, your values, and much more.
Life becomes temporarily all about your partner and those other things seem
to fade in importance. Infatuation makes you 'deaf' to the opinions and observations of family and
friends who care a great deal about you.
Infatuation always goes away. While it seems painful at the time, it's a good
thing that the madness fades away and reality returns.
No one could go through life with the intensity of focus infatuation brings.
During infatuation, you could talk all night. You can survive with almost no
sleep. You can ignore your responsibilities. You may pay no attention to your
Not everybody gets infatuated with their partner. You still can have a
wonderful life-long, bonded relationship with your partner without ever
having been infatuated. But, If you don't know or realize what infatuation is,
you can make some very big mistakes.
Romance serves to heighten whatever feelings each has for
the other. Romance creates strong positive memories of a shared
Remember, real love is the memory of positive shared experiences, along
with the bundle of feelings that are attached to those experiences.
You could say that romance helps produce stronger bonds of love.
Quit ducking the question. Is Romantic love real
No. We've already described real love as the collection of memories and the
bundle of loving feelings of happy shared experiences.
Romance serves to make stronger memories and add to the bundle of love
with which the couple will begin their marriage, but it isn't the real love
we're looking for.
It's sad to say, but most couples let the romance fade away after the
honeymoon. The guy no longer likes to dance. He rarely brings flowers. He
doesn't call her just to hear her voice. He only calls her when he has
something to say.
If the romantic love disappears after the honeymoon, does it mean the real
love has gone?
No, of course not. Even the happiest marriages of the most loving couples
sometimes let the romance fade away. They still love each other. They jus
don't have all that much romance anymore.
If real love lasts, and romantic love fades away, they can't be the same
Can you still have romantic love after the
Yes, you can. To make your marriage last, your goal is to keep adding to the
bundle of loving feelings. Romance helps create new positive memories of
shared experiences and the loving feelings that are attached to the
We strongly recommend that couples plan to keep some romance in their
marriage. The whole next page is filled with thoughts about that.
Before you go there, it's important to understand how you and your partner
change after the honeymoon.
You came together as a couple and decided to marry for a number of
1.Somehow, we humans are genetically and hormonally driven to find a
mate. It's a basic human need.
2.Possibly, you found each other attractive. Attraction is built in to us as
3.Probably, one or both of you experienced infatuation. That's a
4.Courting rituals create romantic experiences. Those rituals are built in
Then, you marry, and have a honeymoon (or not).
You've got all your needs met; the drive is gone.
Reality has set in. You've responded to all those human genetic and
hormonal drives and urges. You've found your mate and you've settled down.
There's no more thrill of the hunt. There's no more urgency in attracting and
being attractive. The infatuation is long gone.
We humans are driven by our needs. When we're hungry we eat. By eating,
we've responded to the need and we're no longer hungry. We want sex. Then
we have it. Now, we aren't needy. We need to work, so we find work. Once
we have work, we're satisfied.
The need to meet, court, and mate drove us to marry. Now, we don't have
those same needs again. They've been satisfied.
Most people turn their attention to other things, things that satisfy some
other need they have. Most people take their relationship and their partner
Those people have a 50% chance of making their marriage last.
Some people — hopefully you're one of them — commit to make their
marriage happy and to make it last. Those people are willing to commit 5
minutes a day to learn the skills and habits that make a marriage last.
Keep Romance Alive
You're fighting a tough battle. It's normal and natural for romance to fade as
the years go by in your marriage.The good news is that it can be done. If
you and your partner both want to keep romance as the magical spice for
your marriage, you can do it. Millions before you have done it. You can, too.
Keep romance alive by understanding how it will change.
The things you do to keep romance alive change over time as your
relationship matures. Before the wedding, romance is an extention of
courting. Dining, moonlight, music, romantic settings, flowers for no reason,
phone calls to hear your voice. All of these things and much more are part of
the courting process, products of attraction and maybe infatuation.
Romance after a few years of marriage may be holding hands when you take
a walk. Or, sitting quietly together as you read, and from time to time
reading excerpts to each other. As long as you understand how romance
matures with time, you won't have expectations of a lifetime of dancing,
candlelight, and love songs.
Some people can even keep up the dancing, candle light, and love songs. It
just takes work. If you both decide it's worth it, we can help.
Why does it take work to keep romance alive?
Romance after marriage is no longer driven by genes and hormones. So, you
have to substitute commitment and effort. The easiest way to do that is to
make it a habit.
Doris and Bill have had a weekly lunch date for nearly 50 years. It's a deeply
ingrained habit. Stan and Norma go out to dinner, then to a play or opera, or
to a lecture at least once a month. They've been doing it for many, many
years. They are committed to it. They've made it a habit.
You and your partner could decide to do something you both enjoy. Make a
habit of it, and each time you do it, you will both know that this is the spice
of romance that you've added to your marriage.
You may or may not feel comfortable with this sort of agreement. If you do
feel comfortable with it, you’ll discover that it covers the major concerns and
risks that each person in a relationship faces.
Attraction is built in to us by nature, and cannot be avoided. Flirting is also
natural, and most people find it to be fun, and find they get good feelings
from it. This pledge recognizes those realities. It also recognizes the very
important commitment that each person has to the primary relationship, and
every experience of attraction is used as a trigger to cause a renewed
commitment to the relationship.
Read the rest of this entry >>
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The purpose of this isnt to betitle people who drink, or to condemn alcohol itself. However, I do feel that our society takes the power of alcohol for granted. I also feel that it is important to make clear the devastating effects that alcohol can have on just every aspect of people's lives. I challenge you to read what follows with an open mind, and to analyze your own personal behavioral patterns.
People consume alcohol for one of two reasons (or both)...
1. To alter their state of consciousness
2. To be "sociable"
I do hear people say they drink because "they enjoy the taste"
There are people who claim they drink alcohol due to the medical statement that small percentages of alcohol consumed on a regular basis will decrease the chance of heart disease. There are many alternatives to heart disease prevention other than alcohol consumption.
The "Social Drinker"
The term "social drinker" for me is, someone who drinks infrequently and can control their drinking. If you ask someone if they drink, most people will put themselves in this general category.
There are people who can "drink socially" and are able to control their drinking.There are also people who claim to be "social drinkers" who drinks infrequently but have a difficult time stopping once they get started.
Altering the state of consciousness
There are people who deal with physical pain better than others. Generally when people have a headache, of some sort of minor physical pain, they take aspirin or another form of painkillers to relieve the pain. Many normal people tend to deal with emotional pain or emotional "voids" in a similar way. People who do not deal well with negative, or even positive emotions may tend to "medicate" themselves with alcohol or other substances in an attempt to get rid of a particular emotion or feeling. They try to suppress these feelings. Much of this kind of behavior may even be subconscious; although this is one reason people "alter their state of consciousness"
There are many people out there who try to fill certain voids in their life by acting in a wide variety of irrational ways. Many times, they go as far as to violate their own personal code of morals in an attempt to fill these "voids" I do happen to believe that alcohol consumption is one of the most common ways (if not the most common way) that people attempt to fill certain "emotional voids". These emotional voids or negative feelings can be any feelings from the absence of love, to a feeling of boredom, to a feeling of inferiority, to a feeling of loneliness, to a general sense of discontentment.
How many times have you heard someonse say, "I need a beer?" or "I need a drink"? If you say that you need a drink, what you are really saying is, "I would like to alter my state of consciousness" If you have already been drinking you might say, " I need another beer." In this case, what you are really saying is, "I would like to alter my state of consciousness more. Im still not content with how I feel" Most of the time people do not request another beer because they are thirsty.
People who drink and get drunk on semi-regular to regular basis have lost the ability to cope with certain aspects of their life. Their "coper's" are broken. These people have come to rely on alcohol and it's sedative affects to cope with various thoughts, feeling, or circumstances.
Remember that we are pleasure-seeking people. We dont like pain, whether it is physical or emotional. Emotional pain, certain "voids" in people's lives and the fact sometimes people are not comfortable with some of the situations they may be in, are all reasons that people "medicate themselves" and "alter" their state of consciousness".
People's drinking habits obviously vary from person to person, and just because one drinks, I do not put everyone in the same category regarding alcohol usage as I do myself. The fact is some people have a drinking problem and they know it. Some people have a drinking prob. and wont admit it (to others or themselves). Some people have drinking prob. dont know it. Some people drink from time to time and do not have a drinking prob. at all. Then there are the non-drinkers who abstain from any alcohol consumption.
Beer, wine and hard liquor can be found anywhere. You dont have to look hard. This powerful drug is legal. Countless drugs that are less powerful that alochol are available only by prescription by a doctor. Alcohol consumption plays a major part in people's lives during their quest for pleasure, or lack thereof. It is important to know just how much of a lie alcohol is in direct correlation with our pursuit for peace and pleasure. Nonetheless, we all have emotions and feeling which need to dealt with on a daily basis. It is how we deal with these feelings and decisions that we make us who we are.
Read the rest of this entry >>
The most basic definition of lucid dreaming is “being aware you are dreaming while dreaming”. Most lucid dreams are about things you want to happen. Although most people know they’re lucid dreaming, you can change your dream to how you want it to be. Lucid dreams usually occur while a person is in the middle of a regular dream and suddenly realizes that she or he is asleep and must be dreaming. The person is then said to be “lucid”, and may enter one of many levels of lucidity. At the lowest level, the dreamer may be dimly aware that he or she is dreaming, but not think rationally enough to realize that events/people/actions in the dream are not real/pose no threat. At the highest level, the dreamer is fully aware that she or he is asleep, and can have complete control over his or her actions in the dream. However, with low mental control your decisions could be biased not by your opinion, but by your brain. You can control your dreams using the lucid dreaming methods that follow.